Truth
I am only happy with a minimal amount of people these days, most of which i see rarely.
I have these moments where i lose my sense of happiness and feel the past creeping back into conscience. I know its gone and i got through it, but it still comes back to haunt me.
I was doing really well for a while and was completely happy with my life, everything was great. But gradually, little things that made me unhappy, made me vulnerable to the feelings i once had and of course, in due time, they returned in short bursts of pain and anxiety.
I think there is a constant battle in my head to keep them out, even though i am not always aware of it. I fight it. I fight the pain and self-destruction. I fight the hurt. I fight the sleepless nights and the weeks of isolation.
Because i know, if i go back there, i may not come out as lucky as i did the first time.
